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same

sām/  

adjective

1. 1.

   identical; not different.

adverb

1. 1.

   similarly; in the same way.

change

CHānj/

verb

1. 1.

   make or become different.

   "a proposal to change the law"

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2. 2.

   take or use another instead of.

   "she decided to change her name"

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noun

1. 1.

   the act or instance of making or becoming different.

   "the change from a nomadic to an agricultural society"

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The world changes every day, every month, and every year. We change our clothes, our sheets, and even our minds. As the years go by, it's easy to sometimes wish that things and people would just stay the same. But they won't, and they don't. That is an expectation that comes with age. A 20-year-old may look at his or her life, and think things will never change. They will accept the same and be happy. Another may constantly wish for something big to happen; to change. I was the 20-something that always thought things in life would be the same. 

You see, I loved my childhood. I loved my small town, my jaunts through the streets with friends, my carefree and basketball playing high school days. College was only awesome because, well, there was this boy... Now he is my husband. He is the reason I stayed. With my strong hold for life to stay the same, I grew stubborn and resistant to the change. I lost touch with my best friend. Long distance friendship just wasn't her thing, I guess. My resistance turned to cynicism. My cynicism turned to anger, my anger to sadness, my sadness to grief, and my grief, finally, after many years, turned to acceptance. I have accepted change. 

It all started when Tom and I tied the knot. We figured that we should move out of New England and try something new, where everything was not the same. North Carolina was a great choice. The city of Charlotte was growing, jobs were abundant, prices were low, and the weather was much different. I think this is when my acceptance to change really grabbed on strong. 

You learn a lot about yourself when you move miles away. You don't have the crutch of "old reliable." You are able to take your rose-colored glasses off for a moment and reflect on who and what are a.) important to you and b.) you are important to.

Making friends as a married couple was a lot harder than we expected. It was sort of like dating. The one great thing was that if we didn't connect with someone, we never felt obligated to see them again. As the years have gone by down here, we have made fantastic, supportive, fun, loving friendships. For the first few years, I held onto things being the same. I have finally let it go, and I think I have my children to thank for that. 

Having a child changes you in ways beyond just the physical. Not only do you gain weight, get pimples, dimples, stretch marks, etc, but you also get to see life for what it really is. You don't have time for negativity, ambivalence, cynicism, or arrogance. You only have room in your heart and your life for love, affection, support, positivity, and true connections. It's face to face interactions, phone calls, or random cards in the mailbox that mean the most. Being far away from 01760 and having children has not only helped me realize that the same is not best and change is far better. Not only have the people in my past changed, but I have too. 

I am: a great listener, a judgement-free zone, less emotional, more understanding, a hugger, genuinely kind, more caring, good at giving advice, more mellow, stronger. I just get life. I understand it. 

I'm glad I have changed. I love to see my how my friends have evolved. Can I say that I have as much in common with some of them now as we once did? Absolutely not. But, there is a sisterhood there. A connection that has roots so deep that even if we don't talk any more than a random Facebook comment, there is always a space for them in my heart.